Sylvia Fruchter- Shloshim February 15, 2018 from Barbara

I would like to say a few words about my dear friend Sylvia. She and I became friends soon after we were married, about thirty-five years ago. I say ‘friends’ but actually we were much more like family. We brought up our children together and got together for all the chagim. This was not simply a question of who invited who each year, but involved working together to make sure everyone’s needs were considered and all the details were taken care of. We worked as a team and it was seamless. Of course, even after all the lists were made and the tasks were distributed, Sylvia always added to it, just in case.

As we all know, Sylvia had an extremely close connection with her family and friends. The number of people who attended her funeral here in Montreal and the burial in Israel is a testament to the large number of people she touched during her life, a life cut short much too soon. She was such a caring and thoughtful person; always knowing what to say to make her friends and family feel that she was genuinely interested in what was going on in their lives, even when she was very ill. Her strong connection to others went far beyond her close family and friends. With Haim, their home was open to just about everyone and Sylvia truly enjoyed connecting and learning about people from different backgrounds, with unique and interesting stories. It didn’t matter who you were or where you came from, you were always welcome at the Shabbat table or simply for a cup of tea and cookies. The fact that so many people cared so deeply about Sylvia, speaks to the way she made everyone feel appreciated and loved.

There are not too many people who gain happiness from the happiness of others. No matter how she was feeling, Sylvia seemed to be truly delighted when she heard about special things happening to others. Anyone who ever had a look at her refrigerator knows that there were always multiple invitations to bar and bat mitzvahs, engagements, weddings and other simchas. As someone who spent so much time in the Fruchter home over so many years, it always amazed me that there so many old friends that I had never even heard about. Whether it was the group from Bais Yakov, from seminary, teaching at Hebrew Day School, Solomon Schechter, Sylvia maintained these friendships over many years.    

Sylvia taught me so many things. She taught me simple things, like how to make humus, and also showed me more important things, like the value of true friendship and how to prioritize and focus on what is really important in life. I think her ability to keep focused on what she most valued; her family, her friends, and her community, along with her inner strength, provided her with peace of mind and the ability to handle this last most difficult challenge with dignity and faith.

Sylvia did not lose her battle with cancer; she succeeded in confronting her illness because of who she was and the life that she lived. She also brought out the best in people. Her community of friends rallied around so beautifully and helped out with so many acts of chesed, acts of kindness. This was a reflection of the love so many of you had for her, as well as a testament to her merit and worthiness.

It isn’t possible to put into words how much my friendship with Sylvia means to me. Even when it is no longer possible to be there anymore for your friends and family, my dear Sylvia, you seem to think of a way to keep on taking care of us and making us feel special. Thank you for the beautiful birthday present. As always, you know exactly what I need.

I feel that we have all been blessed to have had Sylvia in our lives. Haim, Bilha, Yakov, and Orly, and the rest of Sylvia’s beautiful growing family- I pray that the values and lessons that we all learned from Sylvia will provide you with the comfort and the support that you will need over the weeks, months and years ahead.